It was night time in Nashville, Tennessee. I had come from the largest city in Alabama (which was about half the size of Nashville) with a group of about 70 people, all members of the Baptist Student Union, which is a campus ministry organization. For our spring break, we decided to visit the Wherry housing community in Smyrna, TN, which is about 20 minutes away from Nashville. While we were there, we would do community work, worship services, etc. But of course we also planned on having a little fun on our "vacation". The thing is, the Holy Spirit went with us on our recreational outings, too. We didn't leave Him back at the bunks.

We had finished our cheese burgers at the Hard Rock Cafe, and despite the impressive restaurant, we couldn't just sit there for two hours until we headed back to Smyrna. So we were let go into downtown for a while.

Me and a group of my friends walked out of the cafe at about sunset, and after reaching the end of the block in front of the Hard Rock, we turned right around the corner and headed up the sidewalk. Ahead of us was a long city block of interesting places; to our left, the sky scrapers towered above us, lighting the night like mountains of florescent lights. The Bellsouth building was especially impressive with its twin spires atop the triangular, glass facade. At my side was my buddy Lauren, my constant companion; about three or four other students were walking with us after we all shared a table back at the Hard Rock.

The wind was bitter cold; we had all expected warm weather on the trip and packed accordingly, but what we got was winter's last hurrah. The wind made it so unbearably cold that it almost wasn't worth walking around and taking in the big city. But we pressed on down the street, looking at the places we passed. We eventually wound up in a tee-shirt/souvenir shop, and after spending a few minutes there, decided to head elsewhere. Since it looked like all the interesting places were behind us, we headed back down the street towards the Hard Rock in the darkness of night.

Along the way, we passed three people, apparently in their late teens/early twenties, and their dog. When I noticed them, I knew they would try to ask me for money or something. They didn't really look homeless, they were dressed pretty much like anyone else, but they were sitting down on the sidewalk, trying to catch people's eyes as they passed. For an instant, the thought of stopping to give to them crossed my mind, but immediately that idea was put to rest by the thought that, hey, we were in downtown Nashville, on a cold night. There were probably a zillion homeless people out here tonight, each one wanting something, and I had limited cash. Very limited after eating at the Hard Rock Cafe... I knew I was supposed to help those in need as a Christian, and I had no problem with that; I was just scared to start handing out cash on the streets of Nashville for fear of having beggers flock to me, or especially for the fear of being caught up in some sympathy scam meant to rip off compassionate people. There were probably as many hustlers in the city as there were beggars. "They probably deserve the situation they're in now" I thought to myself. "They might not even really want anything; they're dressed well enough. They're probably just too lazy to walk back to their apartment and get some cash to buy whatever they're hanging around here for."

I tried to keep looking straight ahead and hoped they wouldn't call out to me. I walked passed them, and felt both relief at having made it passed with my assets intact, and horror that my heart was so drained of pity.

I didn't see exactly what happened next, but after I had walked a few yards down the sidewalk, I looked back to see that the two girls that had been bringing up the rear of our group had stopped and were talking with the three people and petting their little dog. "Uh-oh", I thought, "they're about to get sucked in..." We waited and waited for them to get done talking with the beggars. Finally they scampered back to the rest of the group and told us what was going on. What we had there was a group of groupies who had followed their band around (I later found out it was the Grateful Dead) and had spent the last of their money on gas for their car. Now they had to beg for food, and I can only imagine that their car was out of gas, too. The girls suggested that we each put in a little money to buy them some food. I contributed a buck, and I figured my job was then done. One of the girls ran back up the street to the tee-shirt shop we just left to round up more people from our extended group to give money, while the rest of us walked down the street and then ducked inside a shop to escape the wind. I started to get worried about the girl walking around by herself with a handfull of cash, and I poked my head out the door and looked up the street to look for her; I didn't see her or the homeless people, but we had walked quite a distance to where we were then. After a minute the other girl who had talked with the groupies left to chase down her comrade, and once again I thought we should all go, but kept silent. It felt good to all the rest of us to be out of the wind.

Eventually we wondered what had happened to our charity ambassadors, so we headed back outside to chase them down. Looking up the street, I didn't see them. We made it back to the tee-shirt shop they had headed to, but we didn't find them there. We asked some other people from our extended group if they had seen them, and they said they had taken the groupies to a pizza shop. We went back outside and crossed the street to Sbarro's pizza and pasta shop. When we went in, we didn't see them anywhere. By now we were tired, very cold, and just wanted to go home. But we also wanted to know where in this huge city our friends were. About the time that we walked out the door back into the cold night, along came our long lost girls, with several other people from our larger group, and the three groupies! (And their dog.) They walked back into the pizza shop with us in tow, and me and my friend Lauren want to a table, sat wearily down, and watched the tv while mumbling to each other. The group of our fellow students and our homeless friends got some food, and to my surprise they all headed to the back of the restaurant and sat down together. Not only did these people pay for the groupies' food, they sat down with them! And from the looks of it, they were having a good time.

I was tired, and Lauren and I decided to leave. By now I was starting to feel kind of guilty; the other people were treating our Dead Head wanderers like old friends, and here I was wanting to head back to our van and take a nap until it was time to leave. As I walked out the door, I realized that I was leaving behind an opportunity to do something really good for once, something that went beyond just giving money.

Lauren and I crossed to our side of the street again and headed back towards the Hard Rock. We stopped along the way at a coffee house that we finally found. We chatted with our friends there and Lauren warmed herself with a drink. Our ministry leaders were there, and when they walked out and headed back to the vans, we gladly followed. It was about then that I finally admitted to myself that I kind of felt like a rat.

I found out later that the people from my group even prayed with the groupies in the restaurant. They prayed!

As I write this account, I've been back in my own town for about a day. I've been taking care of the mountain of E-mail that accumulated while I was gone, and I've been sharing the story of my trip with my E-mail friends. Doing that has really made me realize what exactly I learned from the experience.

I didn't want to give because I was afraid, and I was even greedy. If I had known that these were the only beggars I would meet, I probably would have given some money. But I was afraid of being taken advantage of and hardened my heart. I forgot to trust God that He wouldn't throw so many needy people at me that I'd have to give all my money away.

Even if I had immediately given money, my heart was in the wrong place. My thought towards them wasn't love and pity, it was judgement and even contempt. "They got themselves into this mess", I told myself. "Maybe going hungry and homeless a while will teach them a lesson. I'm not giving them my money that I need if they're just going to blow it all like this!" I had perfectly justified not giving them anything. I even made it sound better for them to let them starve than to help them. But I forgot to just love them. Christ loves everybody, even sinners who get themselves into trouble. I know He's pulled my fat out of the fire before after I did something dumb when I really, really didn't deserve it.

When the rest of my group went the extra mile and even sat down to eat and talk with the groupies, I realized what true Christian charity is. It's more than just giving money. It's really loving people. Because I decided I didn't like rock band groupies who busted their bank on such stupid things, I certainly would never have actually associated with the people. I realize now that what's even more important than giving money to needy people, and especially more important than watching them learn lessons on money management by starving, is to love them and share the love of Christ with them. Even if I had sat down with them, I probably would have been more interested in preaching at them about listening to bands like the Grateful Dead than I would have been about just being friendly with them, talking to them, listening to their stories, just making friends with them. After all, should a Christian make friends with people like that? Yes!

I looked down on those people. Oh, I despised them! If only I had just loved them with a Christ like love, I could have made a difference in their lives! Not just by giving them money to survive with, but by feeding their spirits with the warmth of Jesus! But you know what? Even though I didn't do that, the job was still done. Another big lesson I learned on this trip was that God will always come through, even when His human servants screw up. I was right there; I could have been the big spiritual hero, I could have spurred our crew of missionaries into action to help those in need, but I didn't. Someone else did. Several someone elses socialized with them at their donated meal. It was other Christians who answered the call of the Holy Spirit to practice that ever important Christian trait of charity. I learned that no matter how much I want to do big things for God, God will choose who does what jobs, and whatever part we play in good works and life in general is determined by God. He gives different gifts to different people, who all are different parts in the Body of Christ.

For all I know, those groupies could have been Christians, and I never would have known it. If they weren't, they were at least willing to pray with others from my group, which is excellent. If they're not saved already, perhaps one day they'll look back and see the kindness of Christ-hearted Christians. They'll see the love of Jesus Himself shining through those who took time out of their busy nights to buy them food, eat with them, talk with them, and treat them like friends. I can only hope that one day I'll see them in heaven.

The people who took the needy under their wing... these are the good Samaritans. These are the fathers of prodigal sons who welcome the lost and rejected with open arms and glad hearts. These are the vessels of faith, hope and love, the greatest of which is love (charity.) These are the ones who love their neighbor as themselves. These are the ones who show mercy and will be shown mercy. These are the servants who will be the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

And that's my story. It effected all of us on the mission trip, and it gave me an new outlook on my faith. Humbleness, love, trust in God, I never expected anything like this to happen on the mission trip. A lot of other stuff happened, and maybe I'll write about that one day, but this is what made the greatest impact on me.

God bless you as you give to those around you who are in need.